Dina’s Narrative

I’m heartbroken to admit this but, I have noticed a decline in my mom over the last year. I think it’s somewhat good that she is still stubborn and independent. But lately she seems to be having more issues with her health and I am worried that maybe she has started falling but is not saying anything to anyone. I would feel terrible if anything happened to her and wouldn’t be able to live with myself. She has always had family around, but after seeing everyone she knows in the family slowly pass away, I am worried about her being alone. That kind of loss is not easy on anyone. She has great friends at church and has been a fixture there for the last 50 years. Also, we all love that house. We grew up there…our handprints are in the garden cement and our hearts forever filled with the memories made there. But I just am not ready to lose mom anytime soon. I don’t want Mom to feel like she is a burden to anyone, but I think that if she would come to live with us, I would not have to worry so much about whether she has enough food or money. Things would need to change around here, a lot. I would need to figure out how to get all the kids to their activities, mom to her appointments, and myself to and from work as well as other things that pop up. Unfortunately, we may need to find a home for Snuggles because Daniel is allergic. I understand she has an emotional attachment to Snuggles and that is an important therapy dynamic so I’m torn. Maybe we can see how it goes for a little while. She would need a comforting and familiar face after leaving her long-time friends from church. However, she would still have our family around her and she would not have the burden of so many bills to pay. It would be easier to help her get to the doctor’s appointments especially since Jessica could help because they would be so much closer. I am just not comfortable having Jessica drive all the way to Sun City during heavy traffic. Right now, it is really hard getting mom to her doctor appointments, but I do not let mom know this. I am grateful that some of her friends from church have been able to assist. I know changing mom’s doctors would take her away from the medical team that already knows her history and introduce a new set of doctors who may or may not study her records in depth. Seems like specialists seldom communicate so we would likely need to retell her story over and over. Yet another concern is the risk that they may disagree with her current treatment plan and make changes. So many variables and a lot of uncertainty but as I said before, I just am not ready to lose mom anytime soon.